Helping Create Success
Phone skills- for when texts or e-mails won’t get the job done
M
y new headset for my landline finally arrived, after twice receiving headsets for cell and computer pairings. Audio quality is essential for my coaching calls, when I need to clearly hear someone, rather than see them.
Phone skills are important in business, when texts or e-mails won’t get the job done. It’s both what you say and how you say it that sends a message. Here are a few tips to get the best mileage out of your time on a call:
- Stand rather than sit; you’ll get better vocal production out of yourself, and you’re not tethered to one place (I like to walk around and talk with my hands on calls)
- Make sure that you know where the mic’s sweet spot is, and adjust it accordingly
- Never eat or drink while on a call
And if you’re using your cell phone, get a headset that pairs with it so you can be free to move around or take notes.
Simplify, Simplify
T
he other day I wanted to hear my friend guesting on a podcast, but the host was such a gas-bag that I had to stop without getting to hear her. He seemed to think he was the Charles Dickens of podcasts, getting paid by the word.
After five long and boring minutes of him talking about himself, and no way to skip ahead in the recording, I gave up. This is what I call “audience abuse” and it should be illegal.
One of the cardinal rules when speaking, whether in person, on camera or other platform, is to get to the point as soon as possible. It will make life much more pleasant for all concerned.
This is definitely something I’ve noticed a lot more since we’ve all been forced onto Zoom in this past year. Some people seem to think that because we have nowhere to go that we must also have all day. Not so! Preamble that rambles is not the way to build momentum, and waiting through several minutes of filler to hopefully get to the meat of the matter is tiring and vexing.
If you’re fortunate enough to have an audience, take care of them. Be forthright, succinct and show them you respect their time.
Pick It Up (a Notch)
T
his week’s homework in my Client Communications class was the cause of much wincing and discomfort. The dreaded assignment was to record themselves leaving three different voice messages to potential clients, colleagues etc. You’d have thought I asked them to recite their most painful memories.
Many said that they don’t like the sound of their voice, which is common, and if you Google it you’ll learn the science behind this. But the fact is, phone skills are still vital to conducting business…texting and emailing alone won’t get the job done. You have to be able to speak with confidence and conviction when you’re having business conversations.
Young people are growing up digitally and not learning the basics of talking on the phone. Oh, the irony…when I was growing up parents everywhere complained about how much time their children spent on the phone. For my sixteenth birthday I was given my own phone line and number, and spent hours on it.
If your own phone skills are weak or non-existent, I have one piece of advice for you: start slow and easy by making a few phone calls. Low-stakes calls at first, to help ease you in to the practice. And if you don’t have a headset, they make a huge difference in comfort while you’re on the call so think about getting one. When I’m on a coaching call, I have the freedom to walk around or sit and take notes and I don’t lose any energy trying to manage the phone itself.
Once you start, you will certainly experience the benefits of a call…you get a lot more information when you hear not just what the other person is saying, but the all-important how they’re saying it is what really informs.
Enough With the Phony Familiarity
T
rends in business communication shift with the times, as they should.
During my early days as a public speaking coach, the fad (never a good one) was to “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them!” Pure bunk and fortunately no longer in vogue.
Being under lock down has had its own influence on how we talk shop, some good and some extremely vexing. I’ve been able to coach online classes on how to Upgrade Presenting Skills for Zoom, and the results are deeply gratifying- formerly shy, introverted senior level people have absolutely bloomed. Confidence is shored up. Meetings become engaging once people understand how to speak on/camera.
Now I’m seeing an annoying trend and to anyone out there who thinks it’s clever, think again. It’s e-mail abuse, in the form of familiarity:
“Hi Katie, I hope you’re doing alright and are in a good place…are you? You’ve probably noticed from my emails lately that…” These are from people I’ve either never heard from, or else haven’t heard from in a dozen years or more. So no, I haven’t noticed anything lately and this approach guarantees that I never will again.
Please don’t make that mistake out of sheer desperation. Or another type- my husband got a jocular work email, much the same fake friendly but with the added touch of the sender in a highly inappropriate outfit and pose.
When “You have strong opinions” is Really Code for Something Else.
H
mmm. I’m wondering if other people have noticed the same thing. There are times when I’ve been told exactly those words (above) and in a tone meant to mildly shame or judge. As if having a less dynamic point of view would be preferable to the listener, as well as better suited to my gender, because the majority of people I’ve heard this from are men.
This begs the question: do men go around telling other men that they are very opinionated, and to tone it down? As my husband would say “homey don’t think so.”
So this week my calendar included coaching a senior executive with the ACLU, to prep for an upcoming presentation, and the stakes are huge. My strong opinions came in very handy, I can tell you that for sure. So I want to reassure all of us who might have been scolded for having a strong opinion- if it’s weak convictions you’re after, please seek them elsewhere…there are plenty of them out there. I’m proud to say I’m opinionated.
Is Your Voice Pleasing to the Ear, or a Turn-off?
“The human voice is the organ of the soul.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
My client recently recorded his first-ever webinar and then sent me a copy to review. He did a fantastic job and I was amazed at how smoothly he executed his delivery, because as I’ve said before, webinars are a breed apart when it comes to presenting skills. I called him right away to congratulate him. And you know what? He hadn’t even listened to it, saying “I hate the sound of my own voice.”
“Really? Well, if you don’t listen to playback, how can you even know what you sound like?” He didn’t have an answer for that, but said merely that he’s always felt that way. And he’s hardly alone. Many people that I work with have said the exact same thing. I’ve realized that it’s not so much that people don’t like their voice, as they’re not used to hearing it, as odd as that might seem in these days of ubiquitous recording devices. But it’s true. So when they do listen to playback, they’re often surprised at what they hear, but that should never lead to the conclusion of “I hate the sound of my voice.”
Don’t get me wrong-some voices are grating and unpleasant-one woman I know has a strident, high-pitched voice that’s like fingernails scraping across a chalk-board. It’s hard to listen to and even more difficult to hear what she’s got to say because of it…BUT, the majority of people sound just fine. To help you get past any resistance, I encourage you to record a sample of yourself reading from your favorite literature, a book, song, poem etc. Focus on the meaning of the words, rather than the sound of them.
When you listen to playback, you want to notice a few things:
- Pitch of your voice- this means how high or low in your vocal register you are. When we get nervous, the pitch of the voice can go up, because our vocal chords are muscles, and when they get tense, they tighten up.
- Pacing-this refers to how quickly or slowly we speak. Again, when nervous, the pacing can often pick up to a point that it’s hard to follow the speaker.
- Upward or downward inflection- this is usually at the end of a sentence, and it means you are completing your thought on an up note, as if asking a question, or on a downward note, as in making a statement.
- Vocal fry- this drives me right around the bend. It’s when people try to sound husky and speak in an unnaturally lower register. It used to occur mostly among younger men trying to infuse a bit of gravitas into their sound, but now women are doing it too.
In these days of texting and emailing, the person who picks up the phone to communicate is ahead of the pack. You can convey and receive much more information using the voice…it’s more nuanced and you get the meaning of the words, but also the energy and intention that go along with them. Is your voice accurately conveying what’s in your soul, as Longfellow suggests?