Five Confidence Killers
Lately I’ve been running workshops, interviewing people, giving quizzes, and lecturing on public speaking, which is not new. What is new is the nearly unanimous desire people are expressing for feeling more confident being themselves in public.
Contrast that with the ubiquitous presence of cameras in our lives, and I can see why so many people feel the need for some reassurance that what they have to say matters, and is worthy of attention and respect. We’re being judged left, right and center on social media and judging others in return.
Boomers, GenXers & Millennials—we’re all up against it here, with some of us faring better than others. Here are some tips for what NOT to do:
1. Comparing yourself to other people- oh, this is ever so easy to fall into, and is an utter waste of time and energy. No one else can be you, but you, so make the most of it. If you’re not yet sure who you are, start exploring on your own.
2. Believing your own PR- again, way too easy to do, and harmful to who you believe yourself to be. If you are living and dying by the numbers (of likes, clicks, open rates, stars etc.) then you are worshiping a false god. The numbers don’t add up to self-esteem.
3. Poor styling choices- how you look and sound to others matters to them, even if it might not to you. You’re judged on your appearance, and giving scant attention to it can leave you feeling uncomfortable if you’re standing out because of it.
4. Judging other people unkindly-when you succumb to this type of behavior, it will come back to bite you. You will look at the world negatively and expect to get that in return. And guess what? You will.
5. Too much: junk food, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs- what do these have to do with confidence, you may ask? They keep your body out-of-balance, and that will affect your judgment, communication & the impression you make on people, and it won’t be a positive one.
