When “You have strong opinions” is Really Code for Something Else.
H
mmm. I’m wondering if other people have noticed the same thing. There are times when I’ve been told exactly those words (above) and in a tone meant to mildly shame or judge. As if having a less dynamic point of view would be preferable to the listener, as well as better suited to my gender, because the majority of people I’ve heard this from are men.
This begs the question: do men go around telling other men that they are very opinionated, and to tone it down? As my husband would say “homey don’t think so.”
So this week my calendar included coaching a senior executive with the ACLU, to prep for an upcoming presentation, and the stakes are huge. My strong opinions came in very handy, I can tell you that for sure. So I want to reassure all of us who might have been scolded for having a strong opinion- if it’s weak convictions you’re after, please seek them elsewhere…there are plenty of them out there. I’m proud to say I’m opinionated.
John’s Salt: Why Men Will Cheerfully Take Credit For Just About Everything.
Whenever I’m working with women on the subject of owning their skills and contributions in business, they tend to go a little soft and wispy. It doesn’t seem lady-like to speak openly and confidently about yourself.
And therein lies the rub: men do it all the time. Even if they’ve played a small part in a successful project, many are not shy about claiming ownership. It seems to be how we’re wired but I think a little tweaking is needed.
When I recently decided to learn how to make salt, I did some research on the internet. I picked a beach in Truro, on Cape Cod and asked my husband to help with the project. He carried the water jug.
After we collected it, I decided that little salt sachets would be a fine gift for my foodie friends and so I needed a name for my salt. I tried out “Corn Hill Salt,” “Cape Cod Salt,” “Bay Water Salt,” “Truro Salt.” And then my fetching husband came up with “John’s Salt.”
I looked at him and he was quite sincere…no ironic smile or anything, just sayin’ … “John’s Salt.” He just carried the jug. I found this hilarious.
So ladies, I want you to think about this. Everything is relative. If you have a hand in a project, own it. Especially if it goes well and you helped with that. Otherwise, we aren’t worth our salt!