Helping Create Success
How what you wear speaks volumes
M
any years ago, I worked with a financial analyst in the energy sector. She was to deliver a presentation to four separate audiences in LA, and the topic was “Why I Never Bought Enron.” The people she would be addressing were shareholders and board members.
We had a slam-dunk report for them but she was uneasy. These were all Ivy-league types and she was the daughter of a detective, from Queens. She felt the difference, keenly.
So I suggested we style her as one of them: pearls, sweater set, black headband etc. I told her it would help her feel more at ease and it did the trick.
She was relaxed, thoroughly prepared and able to stay in the moment. She got spontaneous applause at 3 of the 4 meetings.
What you wear when you’re presenting matters quite a bit. Before you can open your mouth, your appearance is sending out messages. Make sure that you know what those messages are saying.
Be Yourself; Everyone Else Is Already Taken!
“
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken!” Oscar Wilde
It’s pretty easy to spot the guys who are doing their best Gary V impressions… I get light-headed waiting for them to breathe. And while it’s worked well for Gary, everyone else comes across as a wannabe Gary.
The beauty of originality is its singularity. Everyone has their unique fingerprint and voice print and personality. You’re far better served to understand more about what makes you interesting than trying to copy anyone else. Because no one does you like you do you.
How To Screw Up Your Presentation
H
ow to screw up your presentation:
- Procrastinate. Wait until the last possible minute to think about your message, your intention and your knowledge.
- Once you’re good and nervous because you’ve waited so long, sit down in front of the computer to write your speech.
- Start typing whatever comes to mind. Spill it all out onto the page.
- Print it out in a size 10 or 12 font.
- Don’t rehearse. Don’t get to know it, or to own it. Just read through it to yourself.
- Drink lots of coffee on the day you present.
- Grab whatever clothes you want and same with shoes.
- Manage your stage fright by imagining your audience in their underwear.
- Start by telling everyone how nervous you are.
- Speak as quickly as possible, to get it over with.
And that’s all it takes! Follow one or all of these and you’ll be giving it less than your best, and putting yourself through hell, and abusing the audience as well. Or, you can do the opposite and give yourself a fighting chance. More on that, anon.
Five Confidence Killers
Lately I’ve been running workshops, interviewing people, giving quizzes, and lecturing on public speaking, which is not new. What is new is the nearly unanimous desire people are expressing for feeling more confident being themselves in public.
Contrast that with the ubiquitous presence of cameras in our lives, and I can see why so many people feel the need for some reassurance that what they have to say matters, and is worthy of attention and respect. We’re being judged left, right and center on social media and judging others in return.
Boomers, GenXers & Millennials—we’re all up against it here, with some of us faring better than others. Here are some tips for what NOT to do:
1. Comparing yourself to other people- oh, this is ever so easy to fall into, and is an utter waste of time and energy. No one else can be you, but you, so make the most of it. If you’re not yet sure who you are, start exploring on your own.
2. Believing your own PR- again, way too easy to do, and harmful to who you believe yourself to be. If you are living and dying by the numbers (of likes, clicks, open rates, stars etc.) then you are worshiping a false god. The numbers don’t add up to self-esteem.
3. Poor styling choices- how you look and sound to others matters to them, even if it might not to you. You’re judged on your appearance, and giving scant attention to it can leave you feeling uncomfortable if you’re standing out because of it.
4. Judging other people unkindly-when you succumb to this type of behavior, it will come back to bite you. You will look at the world negatively and expect to get that in return. And guess what? You will.
5. Too much: junk food, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs- what do these have to do with confidence, you may ask? They keep your body out-of-balance, and that will affect your judgment, communication & the impression you make on people, and it won’t be a positive one.
Dressing for Public Speaking Success.
If you’re planning on giving a presentation or some other form of public speaking, you have to understand that before you can say a single word, what you’re wearing has already spoken for you. Whatever words you speak after are all heard within the framework of that first impression you made.
Do you know what your appearance is saying, or have you not given it much thought?
Too often, people tend to completely overlook this fact, and as a result they fail to take advantage of this competitive edge.
Here’s what I mean: If I’m presenting to a group of senior women in finance, then it behooves me to style myself as one of them. I’ll select wardrobe pieces that are well-made, and flatter my figure as well as my coloring. My hair will be styled, not just pulled back in a scrunchy. My shoes will be in good repair and make me feel both supported and empowered. And even if I showed up in the most expensive jeans, sneakers and a sweat shirt, it wouldn’t matter and they would not be inclined to take me seriously.
- Always check your outfit the day/night before you present, so you’ll have time to fix problems.
- Avoid the head-to-toe black look; it makes you blend in with everyone else (in NYC) at a time when you want to stand out. Try deep ruby, orange, canary yellow, soft pink, bright red etc. touches instead…a scarf, blouse, tie, belt, suspenders.
- Try not to get wrinkled…stand on the subway instead of sitting, take your jacket off and carry it, carry your blouse in a bag and change when you get to your venue.
When you’re presenting, think of it as “Show time” and not just another day at the office. Ideally, you’re going to entertain your audience as well as educate them, and that’s where you get maximum engagement.
And if it’s at all possible, get your cat to test it out.
Clutter in the Closet.
Everyone has clutter somewhere in their house, or their computer, or their head. It’s an ongoing battle which must be fought-this creep of things, ideas, and information. One place that can always benefit from a fresh look is the closet. I got that chance this morning.
Last night a 5-alarm fire destroyed a condo complex in Edgewater, NJ, our neighbors to the north, also on the Hudson River. 500+ people are homeless. Someone tweeted that among other urgent needs, clothing was wanted.
Clothing that just takes up space … you haven’t worn it in years but hope to fit back into it one day, or you paid a lot for so you can’t part with it, is taking up your energy as well as closet real estate. It influences the way you can see and style yourself.
Too much clutter in the closet is associated with too much weight on the body. Things that need to be repaired, altered or given away will bring your vitality down. This is especially significant when you’re going to be seen and heard in public…you want to be poised and look the part.
While I tend to have a lean closet, I looked at every item differently this morning. Is something that I’ve been hanging on to “just in case” worth more to me, or to someone who’s just lost everything? That made it easy to decide.