“You manage your emotions or your emotions will manage you.” Basketball coach John Wooden
“You manage your stage fright or your stage fright will manage you.” Public Speaking coach Katie Karlovitz
There’s nothing worse than the terror of being in front of an audience and feeling helpless and out of control. Stress tests have clinically shown that the fear of going on stage equals the fear of going into battle, which explains the “fight or flight” response that so often kicks in before giving a speech. It’s time to confront this head on, because too many good people are being silent when they should be speaking up.
The first thing to understand is that this fear is a type of energy…nothing more or less. Einstein said “All is energy” and he was right. Unfortunately, many people are obsessing over the very thing they wish to avoid, which is a holy terror at being under the spotlight. But the law of attraction dictates that public speaking hell is exactly where they’re heading because that’s where their thoughts lead them.
So the challenge lies in handling the strong physical, mental, and emotional components that are acting on us; by harnessing the energy of fear we can re-direct it and point it squarely at what we want to happen, in this case, giving a confident delivery. Here are the antidotes to the toxic forces in play:
- Physical- the first, best defense is to get your breath under control. Once you do that, the rest of the body has no choice but to follow along. When we’re scared, our breathing becomes shallow, short and gulping for air. By slowing it down, we are able to manage it. Drop down into deep breaths from the diaphragm, inhaling on a slow count of five, holding that breath for five, and then releasing on a slow, controlled count of five. Repeat until you feel grounded and calm.
- Limit your caffeine on days that you’ll be presenting-you don’t need it on top of the adrenaline you’ll be releasing into your bloodstream. Same with sugar…you don’t want anything to be spiking your levels.
- Your mental game needs to be strong-this isn’t the time to allow stray thoughts in, because they can too easily be negative or judgmental and this will only get in your way. Stay firmly focused on your message, whatever it is that you believe is imperative to tell your audience. You can’t tell them everything you know, so make every point matter, stay in the moment and don’t get ahead of yourself.
- Emotional support is another key to handling yourself. Create a mantra that perfectly captures the results you’re aiming for. “I am cool, collected and confident.” “My message and my integrity are clear.” Try assuming an avatar that embodies the qualities you admire…it’s role play and can be effective and fun, too.
Coach Wooden got such spectacular results from his players because he knew how to focus their energies. He never emphasized game results, rather just playing to the best of each person’s ability. He made sure they were well-prepared, so they wouldn’t have to over-think things once on the basketball court.
This is the strategy I use when coaching people, and it works. Place your energy on your preparation, and the nerves will be put in their proper perspective and almost take care of themselves.
