oh, the number of favors I’ve been given, gifts I’ve received, and compliments I’ve heard for one simple reason: I’m polite on the phone, online, and in person. Why am I like this? Good upbringing certainly helps. I was taught to be courteous even if my opinion differs from someone else; to praise people when they’re doing their job well, and to always use “please” and “thank you.”
My dear friend is just the opposite. Whenever we’re together, she approaches any public interaction as one more potential problem. She brings that energy to whatever the situation may be (ordering food, asking for information, returning something) and more often than not, her tone is picked up on right away, and she puts people on the defensive. I’ve tried to tell her that she’s sending this message, but she can’t seem to help herself because I don’t think she can see and identify it.
Meanwhile, people have sent me:
– a new paper shredder (after my old one conked out)
– 3 different $25 gift certificates, 2 to Whole Foods, 1 to Target, just for telling the store manager how well they were running things (they always expect a complaint, which is sad)
– a total refund from a popular shopping site that rarely issues them (for $220.)
The salient point is that I never did anything in order to ‘be gifted’ I was just being myself, which includes being polite. i.e. “Why has my shredder stopped working, do you think? I’ve done all of the trouble shooting, but nothing’s helping.” Or: “I know your policy on refunds, but may I tell you XYZ., and “May I see the manager? I’d like to compliment them on the excellent service here.”
Far too often, people are quick to complain. It didn’t used to be this way, but it is now. Try the opposite approach when you next get a chance. Compliment, acknowledge, and praise. Everyone needs encouragement, now more than ever.
